Winter 2016

How Should Christians Respond to Gay Friends or Family Members?

Caleb Kaltenbach (M.A. ’07) is an alumnus of Biola’s Talbot School of Theology, lead pastor of a large church in Simi Valley, Calif., and a married father of two. He’s also an emerging voice in the discussion of how Christians should engage the LGBT community. That’s because Kaltenbach has an insider perspective, having been raised by a dad and mom who divorced and independently came out of the closet as a gay man and a lesbian. Raised in the midst of LGBT parties and pride parades, Kaltenbach became a Christian and a pastor as a young adult. Today, he manages the tension of holding to the traditional biblical teaching on sexuality while loving his gay parents.

Kaltenbach’s unique story is detailed in his new book Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction and landed him on the front page of the New York Times in June. Biola Magazine reached out to him to talk about his book and his perspective on how Christians can better navigate the complexities of this issue with truth and grace.

In your book you say that it’s time for Christians to own the issue of homosexuality. What do you mean by this? How would you like to see this play out?

Christians can own this issue by caring enough to get to know the whole person. If you think that identifying as LGBT is mainly about sex — that’s shallow. The theology of “whom we have sex with” might be black and white, but the person and related experiences aren’t. Once my mom told me that she and her partner hadn’t been intimate in years. I asked why she still called herself a lesbian. Her response was that she had a community filled with friends, acceptance, a cause and deep feelings. It reminded me that people have depth. Care enough about a person not to reduce them to their sexual orientation. If someone who is LGBT says that it’s not mainly about sex, why immediately throw the “homosexuality verses” their way? Talk about holy living down the road. Perhaps Christians can own this issue by being kind and making a new friend.

You challenge Christians to stop avoiding or merely “tolerating” LGBT people, but to engage in meaningful relationships with them. What should that look like?

The more Christians stop treating people in the LGBT community as “evangelistic projects” or “those people,” the more meaningful relationships will develop. Here’s the secret to engage in meaningful relationships with anyone: Treat people like actual people. Embrace the tension by developing friendships over meals, coffee and more. Engage in conversations. Try to understand who they are as a person (experiences, hopes, dreams, fears, etc.). Don’t seek to “fix” anyone, but point to Christ. Here’s a hard truth I came to learn over the years: It’s never been my job to change someone’s sexual attraction. God didn’t call me to “restore” LGBT people to a straight orientation. It’s not even my job to change lives. It’s God’s job. He has great experience in the “life change department.” My responsibility is to love people, make friends and journey with them.

You write that one definition of love is holding the tension of grace and truth. What do you mean by this and who do you think models this sort of love well?

The uncomfortable feeling in the tension of grace and truth is love. and God as well. However, love never harms. A theological conviction should never be a catalyst to treat someone poorly. We can accept the person without approving of their choice to be in (or pursue) a same-sex relationship. Love people, but remember what the Bible teaches. Deepen your relationships, but hold firm to conviction. Never give up on the person or Scripture. Love never takes sides. Love has no exception clause. I see this love lived out by some parents of gay teenagers. These parents love their kids no matter what and nothing about their relationship changes. They thank the teen for trusting them with this part of their life. At the same time, they hold true to what Scripture says not only about sexuality, but also about loving others.

What happens if our “love” is not accepted at all because we still hold to truth? What would you say to an LGBT person who argues that “acceptance but not approval” is not actually love? Isn’t that the direction society is moving, that anything short of full approval is actually bigotry?

To the LGBT person: Be careful taking a hardline stance on something that isn’t your foundational identity. Your main identity shouldn’t be defined by your sexual orientation; rather God should define it. People are entitled to their beliefs. Many examined Scripture, believe that sexual intimacy is for a man and woman in marriage, and aren’t homophobic or hateful. If these people are loved ones (being loving towards you) why shut them out? Don’t distance yourself because they don’t agree with you or the kind of relationship you might have. Don’t treat others who disagree with you the way you wouldn’t like to be treated. They might be intolerant in your mind for not agreeing with you. However, are they treating you poorly? Do they love you less? Do they not value you anymore? Don’t become intolerant by not giving them margin to have different views.

How should and how shouldn’t Christians respond if someone in their life or church community confides in them about same sex attraction?

Christians make too many mistakes when someone comes out to them. They try to advise counseling. At some point, they will throw out Bible verses concerning homosexuality or marriage. Some Christians try to “relate” and often compare same-sex attraction to other sins like murder, theft, etc. Emotions like depression and anger will usually set in. Unfortunately, these are all the wrong things to do. Everyone needs counseling, the person coming out probably knows how you interpret the Bible regarding sexuality, and they don’t want to be compared to Hannibal Lecter or Gordon Gekko. This is a moment to listen and affirm your love for them. Think of it this way: The people coming out to you have chosen to share a very intimate and personal part of their life because you are someone they value. You can never get this moment back, and responding the wrong way is devastating.

How should a Christian respond if invited to a same-sex marriage ceremony? Is attending a gay wedding a tacit affirmation of the sacredness of the vows being exchanged?

Attending may put you in a difficult position as one who believes marriage is for a man and woman. However, you’ll have influence in your relationship with the married person. Fear shouldn’t keep you from a situation where others disagree with you. There might be a chance to share your faith with others at the wedding. Later, when the newlywed has a season of doubt or turmoil, you might be the person they turn to (giving you the chance to share Jesus). But there are also reasons why you may not want to attend. Hurt feelings may result, but God created marriage for him and the couple. You need to stand for truth, and this might be one of those times. In the end, the couple might recognize and remember your integrity. Either option could carry relational difficulty, doctrinal tension or emotional baggage. My advice: Pray about it and represent Jesus well with your decision.

If celibacy is the only option for a same-sex-attracted Christian who wants to remain biblically faithful (you argue this in the book), what can the church do to better minister to these people? Can we just casually tell them “no sex for you!” and leave it at that?

Some argue the Bible doesn’t address same-sex loving monogamous relationships, so it’s fine. However, all passages dealing with homosexuality agree that same-sex intimacy isn’t God’s design — monogamous or not. Sexual intimacy is from God for a man and woman in the covenant of marriage. Outside of marriage, there shouldn’t be any expression of sexuality. Our sex-obsessed culture makes celibacy out to be cruel, when it’s a blessing. There’s more focus on God, freedom in life, acknowledgement of attraction while still holding to biblical convictions. Intimacy isn’t only sexual; it is also experienced through lifelong friendships, supporting causes and family. The church must create an atmosphere of relational opportunities for single people. For example, if a single person is sick, hospitalized, or needs help — the church should support them through small groups, funds and other ways. Celibacy is a sacrifice for Jesus, and the church needs to prepare for that sacrifice.

What are some ways local churches can better minister to the LGBT community?

Allow people to “belong before they believe.” If you’re going to ask people not to identify with the LGBT community, you’d better have another community ready for them! Give people margin for God to work in their lives. Healing and spiritual heart surgery takes time. Help people to feel safe about admitting struggle without fear of backlash. Create an environment where it’s OK for teenagers to ask questions and be authentic. Train youth leaders to listen and ask the right questions. Create support for parents of gay teenagers. Spend time with LGBT people outside and inside your church (they are there). Listen, ask questions and learn. Don’t allow church policies to hinder needed conversations.

Caleb Kaltenbach (M.A. ’07) is the lead pastor at Discovery Church in Simi Valley, Calif., and the author of Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction.


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  • Anna December 29, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    The whole article is condescending. I'm sure it is well intended, but it certainly doesn't come out and recognize the human rights issues and the violence, intimidation, bullying, shaming, blaming, hatred which gays and transgendered have suffered and continue to suffer from the hands of some Christians, including Christian governments. It would help to have a clear 'this is wrong' instead of a sort of 'this doesn't work, afterall we want to convert them' attitude. How about, 'They are just fine as they are!'

    To suggest that gays are being intolerant if they don't want to engage with people who invalidate their identity and have decided (for them!) that they should be celebate is ludicrous. This is an example of projection. Let's say that you are being very critical, you flip it and make the other person the critical one. That way you don't have to be aware of what you yourself are doing.

    Homophobia and prejudice and hatred towards those who are different in their sexual identity is fading, I think in time the majority of churches will be 'gay friendly' you might say. I can't say that a church who still looks at them as being unaccaptable as they are is 'gay friendly'. There are plenty of churches who are no longer practice prejudice.

    All you have to do is look at the hypocracy involved in the strong negative reaction to gay people compared to that of , say, divorced people. Jesus talked a great deal about divorce. You don't really see people getting all worked up about having divorced people in their churches, or people who are living together. That's because we don't have a societal prejudice against such. When society changes, the churches will follow. Too bad that the right wing churches couldn't lead-they always seem to be a decade or so behind. I went to Biola long long ago and they were always behind the times. I remember this one poor professor who got fired for being gay. How sad is that?

  • Caleb December 30, 2015 at 6:41 PM


    I'm the author of the book "Messy Grace" and the interviewee of this article, I would love to discuss your thoughts with you. I'm truly sorry if you were offended. That was not the intent in the least.

    As one who was raised in the LGBT community and has many friends who identify as LGBT in some way (as well as my parents)---my goal isn't to condescend at all. I've had many LGBT people review the book (and articles like this one) and while they haven't agreed with me on all points, they haven't had the same reaction.

    Please go to and email me. I would really love the chance to dialogue with you.

    God bless and have a Happy New Year!

  • etseq April 21, 2016 at 1:33 AM

    Anna is spot on - evangelical passive aggressive "love the sinner hate the sin" with an extra layer of deception. This entire approach is so manipulative that it would be insulting if tt wasn't so transparently absurd. There is the standard line about "belonging before believing" which boils down to - lure them in without fully disclosing that extent of just how incompatible being an out, non-self loathing gay person is with the hopes that they can be convinced to "give up the gay lifestyle" in order to be saved, which means total emotional and physical celibacy or marriage to a woman (and we know well those turn out). Even better, if the gay person is married, then divorce is required in order to be saved - talk about family values! I almost laughed when I read the advice about attending the wedding - I quote: .
    "There might be a chance to share your faith with others at the wedding. Later, when the newlywed has a season of doubt or turmoil, you might be the person they turn to (giving you the chance to share Jesus"
    This is almost creepy - attend a gay wedding where lots of other gays will be in the hopes that you can witness to them and convince them to again "abandon that gay lifestyle" or even better, the implication being that the gay couples marriage is doomed to fail so be there to swoop in when they are most vulnerable in the hopes that you can "sway" one or both of them to becoming a self-loathing re-closet case. Christians - you shall know them by their love!!! Man that is some twisted love...

  • teco May 12, 2016 at 9:12 AM

    I'm saddened by what I read in etseq's comments. I have a dear friend who's daughter has decided she was really meant to be a boy. My friend has elected to facilitate transgender transformation for her daughter in full force and has chosen to remove anyone from her life that doesn't support her "son's" decision. I have struggled to present the truth of God's word without acting in a quasi-enforcer role. I too sin and would not condemn my loved ones because of their sin. I don't approach the subject with her.... I don't "brow beat" her with the Bible. I nod compassionately as the struggles their family encounters are real... and painful. But when asked what I think... I speak the truth of Christ which defines LGBT sexuality as sin. Because I have held firm that God's word is the truth, I am seeing... and mourning the dwindling of a decades long friendship. Etseq's comments discourage me further.... because they underscore what I observe in my friend and her daughter (son)... their view is anything short of complete and utter acceptance that LGBT sexuality and lifestyle is fine and absolutely completely ok....equates to hate and judgement. There is no middle ground. Etseq's remarks mirror that of the LGBT community that I have met through my friend. Unless you're "for" LGBT.... you are the enemy. Sharing God's word.... if that word speaks against LGBT sexuality.... is hate. No exceptions. Speaking God's word equates to hate. With that mentality.... how does a Christian who hates sin but loves sinners (in no small part because I happen to BE one)... find middle ground, commonality, and exchange of lovingness with others who are in the LGBT community? It's truly sad.

  • Linda Brown May 19, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    Caleb Kaltenbach is correct that it is God who changes anyone's heart, but his claim that his responsibility is therefore to just "love people, make friends and journey with them" really appalled me. Mr. Kaltenbach seems to have forgotten that Jesus' last command to his believers was to "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel and make disciples." His entire interview was geared to the same "Just love us!" line that I and many other believers received when testifying at our state legislature's committee hearing on LGBT issues last year. In between their screaming for us to show more love and acceptance, they exhibited plenty of gross intolerance and hatred for those sharing opposing views on the decision to be made by the committee. However well Mr. Kaltenbach has learned to deal with his unusual family background, he's incredibly wrong on several other key points as well. I won't be able to recommend his book, but I know that God will use him as he strives to help other believers on this very difficult issue.

  • Caleb Kaltenbach July 26, 2016 at 2:39 AM

    Have you read my book? I'm guessing you haven't so how could you not recommend it? I take an orthodox stance on sexuality throughout the book. It's endorsed by many including profs from Talbot, Dallas Seminary, the Gospel Coalition, SBC, etc.

    But if you're that quick to judge I can see why you wouldn't like my book.

    There's a difference between acceptance and approval--
    -Acceptance: loving a person where they are (Matt 5:46-47; Lk 6:35)
    -Approval: you can't support every life choice a person makes.

    Praying for your tone & graciousness.

  • pat rojas August 31, 2016 at 9:05 AM

    A lesbian couple asked me this question. Would God send someone to hell because they loved someone .My answer was no.They would wind up in hell because they rejected Jesus Christ as their Savior.With 1/2 of one percent of the body of Christ involved in evangelism the chances of most of America winding up in hell are grave.Read Ezek.9,13,Is.30,Gal1:8-9,1Pet.4:17.With some 70-80% of attendees of evangelical church's not BornAgain it's no wonder books written are soft on sin,huge on false teaching.Emergent church movement is flagrant rejection of the Word of God.Many emergent will hear these words Depart from me I never knew you.Matt 7:14-23

  • Bev February 12, 2017 at 10:09 AM

    My daughter is gay and has a gay partner. My daughter in law makes the sign of the cross every time she walks by them and also won't allow her children to sit by or talk to them at our family gatherings. I asked her to leave our house last night because she was being rude, judgmental and unloving. She said she did not want her children around these people and took each child out of the house to tell them her thoughts on this. Her husband, my son also does not agree with her stance on this issue. I don't know how to deal with this in a way that won't negatively affect my 3 grandchildren, 3 boys, age 7, 10 and 14. Any thoughts and or scripture recommendations? My daughter in law goes to a Greek Orthadox Church and the rest of our family go to a non denomination Christian church

  • Rev Clyde Baker April 10, 2017 at 7:17 PM

    Thank you Rev Kaltenbach for responding to some comments. You're making a good start. But I encourage you to do some deeper thinking. Sin, for example. What sin in today's world is not directly connected to harm? We do ourselves and our faith an injustice when we insist on calling something sinful which does no harm to anyone. Remember long hair? Rock and roll? So also, the Christ-centered, life-time commitment of two mature adults to honor, fidelity and support does no harm to anyone--in fact it strengthens the walk of faith for the couple and brings blessings to the community in which they live and serve. We only harm ourselves and grieve the Holy Spirit when we call that sin.
    There are several other aspects where you seem to be selling our faith short. I would hope you would be willing to wrestle with this. I am willing to listen. I would love to correspond.

  • True Believer May 1, 2017 at 5:52 PM

    Rev Clyde Baker

    We don't get to choose what is or isn't sin! If you actually studied the bible you would know all of God's principles are timeless and never change. The worst kind of Christian is a leuke warm choose what suits me believer. For 6:9-11 declares all sexual deviants have no place in the kingdom of heaven. You're spewing dangerous deceitful lies in order to justify same sex marriage promoting spiritual death. We are made in God's image period and there is no room for homosexuality if Jesus is truly in your heart. Love the sinner hate the sin is the only biblically approved behavior. Stop referring to yourself as Rev it isn't fooling anyone.

  • A reader June 5, 2017 at 5:15 AM

    Caleb, I don't need to read your book to see that your efforts to encourage gay people into Christ's bosom is most probably an example of the age-old shyster traveling preacher act. I'd forgive you for that more quickly if the ancient text that you're capitalizing on (hopefully it's simply that and not some personal contempt) didn't so completely shame and make filth of those who are homosexual. . It would be harmless if you were not selling spiritual poisoning to desperate LGBT children. My only relief is that your book is probably barely seen by them, and is mostly (spottily) read by rich straight housewives. The LGBTQ community has suffered enough slobber alresdy, make your money writing earnestly.

  • Luxitos June 6, 2017 at 11:30 AM

    Seriously? You attend a state legislature committee on LGBT issues (to deny and block them, I'm sure) and you have the audacity to wonder why you are labelled as the enemy?

    Belief is one thing, but when you petition the government to deny rights and benefits to people who live outside the rules of your religion then you are no better than the Taliban.

  • Meri June 21, 2017 at 3:20 PM

    Do you have an email address to submit heartfelt quieations on this subject?

  • Tohru Melody July 6, 2017 at 6:31 PM

    I know that I'm young (16), and I don't know much, but I believe that we should love people and get to know them better instead of labeling them. I met the sweetest person over the internet who has just been a shine to my day every day. I light up whenever I receive a text from him. He told me earlier that his family rejected him for coming out of the closet. His whole story was heartbreaking. I knew I needed to be there for him. So I'm still treating him the same way I did before I knew about his sexuality. He has been so grateful for my kindness and we enjoy every moment together.

    I think that instead of quoting scriptures when a person comes out to us, the best way that we can represent Jesus Christ is to be kind and listen to them. Forcing the Bible on them and rejecting them are two of the main reasons why they are so afraid of us. We may not be able to change their minds, but that was never our job in the first place. Our mission is to show them the same love that Jesus showed to us. He never condemns us for what we do or what we think. He loves us no matter what. The Bible says that homosexuality is wrong, and whatever is in our God's Holy Word is true and will remain true. But that doesn't mean that we should completely shut someone out because they are a homosexual. We love because He loved us first.

    I really hope I don't offend anyone. I hate starting fights. But I've been wrestling with this issue for a long time and I don't want to take action in an aggressive or mean way. I respect you all and your beliefs and this is mine.

  • Derry July 7, 2017 at 8:21 AM

    Tohru, you are quite wise for only being 16! The way you are responding to your friend on the Internet is the way Jesus responded to everyone He came in contact with. He loved people and got to know them, despite behaviors in their lives that He didn't endorse. He listened to them and spoke compassionately, respecting their dignity as human beings that He had created. When He spoke, it was with both grace AND truth. As followers of Jesus, we represent Him well by imitating Him!

    Caleb, thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. What you have to say holds a lot of weight coming from your background. I agree that our foundational identity is not in our sexual orientation- we are SO much more than that! It is indeed time for Christians to “own” the issue of homosexuality by stopping the assumptions and caring about the person - as a person - who is inherently valuable, thoughtfully and lovingly made in the image of God.

  • Nonymous July 27, 2017 at 4:54 AM

    To Tohru

    Your comment has really been insightful. And as a Christian who's trying to dig deeper it's been hard on how to directly relate to gay men or lesbian women. And with your answer I'm put at peace and my heart feels the need to even love even more and abstain the hate. Love is the truest thing. It's the beginning to developing and leaving a long lasting imprint that can improve, transform or aid. I'm going to lead in peace and love with the truth of God and life of Jesus being the exemplary. That's what needed today on this Earth, across every corner. I pray I learn to love, rebuke hate and fear...and so to you
    With peace and love, a growing Christian

  • Tohru Melody August 4, 2017 at 5:55 AM

    To Nonymous

    Thank you so much for that comment! Jesus spent time with all kinds of people who were different. Not just other Christians. He loves them just as much as He loves us. God is no respecter of persons. And He calls us to be the same way. It breaks my heart though that a lot of the LGBTQ community hates us. They are afraid of us because they know that most Christians condemn them for what they do, and try to force them to stop and convert them to Christianity. That's kind of how we got our reputation as a homophobic faith. But God said in His Word that our job is only to SHARE Christ, as well as the Good News of salvation, and most importantly the love that He showed to everyone while He was on Earth, regardless of sexual orientation or lifestyle. Whoever wants to to actually receive Christ will know it in their hearts and seize the opportunity. And if they reject it, well, that's their choice, too. We're not supposed to try and change their minds. But maybe if we tried a different approach instead of attacking them, they wouldn't dread us so much.

    I really hope that I don't seem like I'm trying to be a know-it-all (I mean really, I haven't even finished Highschool! I'm only 10th grade! Lol) but I firmly believe this is the truth. Jesus is really sad when we are harsh and hateful and mean to people. It doesn't matter what they're doing in their lives. Nothing justifies cruelty. But I'm not trying to force anyone to believe EXACTLY what I do. Again, that's completely up to you guys. I totally respect everyone else's opinions and you all have the right to give them. :)

  • Pastor Pete August 17, 2017 at 6:09 AM

    I'm not militant or hateful toward homosexuals, by why are we treating the sin of homosexuality with such a high degree of caution and sensitivity? Do we approach thievery, extortion, bribery, greed, adultery, rape or child abuse in such a manner as this? Have scores and score of books been written on "How to deal with an invitation to a bomb making class?" The bottom line is that homosexuality represents a gross abomination in the sight of God, and it is to be condemned to the same degree and with the same language employed in Scripture. Should a Christian attend a gay wedding ceremony? Must we spend gobs of energy and time discussing the proper Christian response to such an obvious matter as this? The answer is a resounding NO! Once again, I'm not advocating hate or scorn, as I believe God is calling all Christians to emulate his message , character and attributes, but there is now way of avoiding conflict when taking a stand for righteousness within the sphere of this fallen world. And it's certainly not the will of God for Billy and Johnny to snuggle comfortably on the couch at the home of Billy's Christian parents during the holidays, as if its "business as usual". Neither Billy or Johnny should ever feel comfortable about their sin, and as I see it, Billy should be welcome into his parents home, but not Johnny, and the reason for this should be graciously and biblically explained to both parties. When Jesus said He came not to bring peace on the earth but a sword, and to set a man at odds with the members of his household, He was talking about the high cost of discipleship, and of the natural division that will result from taking a stand for the will, way and standard of God.

  • Minnesota August 22, 2017 at 10:36 AM

    Pastor Pete,

    Imagine how many kids over the years have killed themselves because righteous anger was the loudest voice in their heads at the bitter end.

    You will never know the exact number because they never dared to step out of the closet, so you can at least count yourself successful for helping stop that nonsense. But, it still amounts to bloodshed.

    There is no such thing as conditional compassion.

    Woe unto you.

  • Yale Kim August 29, 2017 at 8:21 PM

    How do I serve as a missionary in my high school to the lgbtq community? Because just having a good relationship with them isn't going to make anything happen.

  • Christy Rogers September 30, 2017 at 4:33 PM

    As a woman who was a non-Christian lesbian for over 30 years I found this article refreshing and exactly in-line with my experience to conversion. I sought a loving community that accepted my brokenness and found it with my lesbian sisters and gay brothers. I now find an unconditional love I never knew before with Christ and my fellow believers. I have been converted and am not the same person I was before...the last three years as a Christian have been the best of my life.

    My prayer is for all, gay or whatever, to find this same acceptance through the love and sacrifice of Christ. He heals all our desires or confusion of the flesh and strengthens us. I look forward to reading your book so I can recommend it to friends. God bless you and your parents, they raised a fine young man. For those that think waving your banners at the pride marches as you scream how much of a sinner I am, search your heart and act in did more against God than for Him and actually made me never want to know Jesus. He had to seek me out and convert me Himself and I praise Him everyday for setting me apart from my sinful nature so I could repent be and be made new.

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:36 PM

    For centuries predominant Christian thought on the issue of homosexuality has been blunt negation and hatred. For centuries, it was a crime to be openly homosexuality. If you came out of the closet, at least in medieval Europe, you would be burned at the stake. If you came out in any time period before the 1990's, you would most likely be socially ostracized. Now, predominant Western thought has taken a 180 degree spin, and now you have the same people who would a generation ago scream homophobic rhetoric talk in a tone with complete moderation. Now, we need to sympathize with them? The desire to appease all sides of the debate, and come across as a speaker for God. You know what I think? These Pastors have become weak in the face of societal change. Society changes, and immediately they change their gospel, which previously condemned homosexuality and homosexuals as people who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Now, they want us to accept of homosexuals as people. Weird, how that works. These same people believe morality to be objective, and yet their attitudes towards homosexuality change that instantaneously. I'm not necessarily referring to only Caleb when I speak of this. However, he is what I would call the moderate whose trying to appeal to everyone. It's PR move in order to appeal to bigots and tolerant people. However when he speaks out against homosexual acts and homosexual sexual relationships, he thinks that is "conviction" and "truth." This Pastor thinks he's speaking truth, when really he's just preaching from a book written by degenerates who had no knowledge of what ethics were. A "chosen people" who think everyone who doesn't believe in their God will go to hell and burn for an eternity. Placed their by the "loving" God. The same "truth" that thinks the Earth is 6,000 years old. The same "truth" that thinks a talking snake is the reason why humans wear clothes. Yeah, I take this "truth" with a grain of salt. It's nothing but outdated primitive superstition. This is "truth" to him. Sorry, it's stupidity and ignorance. Homophobia is a sign of degeneracy,and a sign that one probably has a lower than average IQ.

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:54 PM

    I have to mention this. The Bible is a book that actually called for the death by stoning of homosexuals in the Old Testament. I have to ask this Pastor. Are we able to call these practices and laws barbaric? Even though they are decreed by God himself? This is anything but loving towards homosexuals, and it's also Biblical. Homosexuals were put into the same boat as murderers and thieves in the Bible. Whenever homosexuality is mentioned. It's mentioned under a negative portrayal. Bionically, I have concluded that they should be treated as murderers are treated. By stoning. Am I wrong? If I'm wrong, is God wrong? There is a reason Christian societies have taken hundreds of years to affirm the right to live to homosexuals. It's because their Old Testament and New Testament(Paul said they wouldn't inherit the kingdom of God) condemn them as people, and them to repress all sexual desire, or risk divine consequence. We need to give credit where credit is due. Logic and reason and empathy. We achieved equality for homosexuals in spite of the Bible, and not because of it. I hope the people on this comment thread realize how toxic the Bible is. Minnesota, your right to respond to Pastor Pete that way, but bionically, he's correct. Realize your condemnation of his righteousness is anti Biblical. I know you might want to view this through the lens of you being on the side of God, but you aren't. And the Laws in Leviticus prove that,

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:58 PM

    "bionically" should be biblical Correction error.
    "and them" should be, and asks them
    And the Laws in Leviticus prove that.

  • Ross N October 13, 2017 at 9:16 PM

    I can say out of all these comments that ‘True Believer’ is no better than the chrisitian version of the taliban and a cruel person. The reverend isn’t choosing what’s son and what’s not but choosing how to handle actions towards gay people and big necessarily biblically condoning it. True Belovsd is nothing but close to a terrorist type of thinking and is far from a Christian.

  • Tony Diaz November 17, 2017 at 5:47 AM

    Hello Pastor Kaltenbach,
    I hope and pray that you are doing well. It takes a man of God to write and be steadfast with the truth of the word of God. Keep up the good work. God never said that it would be easy, right? I commend you for writing on such a difficult subject. Again, it takes a follower of Jesus Christ to discern truth. May the Lord continue to bless you mightily.

  • Steven Meyers December 11, 2017 at 10:35 PM

    Just an observation. I am writing my doctoral dissertation on servant leadership inclusiveness in light of the LGBT agenda. It presents a true dilemma. The problem that I have is that most sinful behavior is recognized by the sinner as such: Sinful. So many gays and lesbians simply do not believe that they are wrong in any way, or that what they do is sinful in God's eyes just as any other sin. Many tend to rationalize it away or sweep it under the rug, using the tired, old "I was born that way" nonsense. If the LGBT Christian is truly remorseful for their sin, they will no longer be a practicing homosexual. They will embrace celibacy and not engage in their sin. Their sin is no worse than any other sin, it is just that most don't want to call it what it is and always has been, sin.

  • Sarah January 12, 2018 at 8:47 AM

    Dear Caleb, I really appreciated the article and plan to read your book. My little sister is a lesbian and getting married this summer. We have always been very close, and is my best friend. When she came out to me, it hurt our relationship because I believe homosexuality to be a sin, and it was a surprise to her that I didn’t change my beliefs because of my relation with her. Honestly I wish I could. I love my sister so much, and I don’t totaly understand this one, I’m just trusting that God is good even when I don’t understand Him. Anyways, I’ve made a lot of missteps with my sister, and I feel so clumsy in how to love her well without compromising my faith. After a lot of prayer and discernment I realized I couldn’t attend her wedding but I’m devastated and so saddened at the relational cost. Can you advise on how to love her well? It might be t I late. I just haven’t heard many conservative Christians speak with such a loving perspective as you did in the article. Thanks

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