Winter 2016

How Should Christians Respond to Gay Friends or Family Members?

Caleb Kaltenbach (M.A. ’07) is an alumnus of Biola’s Talbot School of Theology, lead pastor of a large church in Simi Valley, Calif., and a married father of two. He’s also an emerging voice in the discussion of how Christians should engage the LGBT community. That’s because Kaltenbach has an insider perspective, having been raised by a dad and mom who divorced and independently came out of the closet as a gay man and a lesbian. Raised in the midst of LGBT parties and pride parades, Kaltenbach became a Christian and a pastor as a young adult. Today, he manages the tension of holding to the traditional biblical teaching on sexuality while loving his gay parents.

Kaltenbach’s unique story is detailed in his new book Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction and landed him on the front page of the New York Times in June. Biola Magazine reached out to him to talk about his book and his perspective on how Christians can better navigate the complexities of this issue with truth and grace.

In your book you say that it’s time for Christians to own the issue of homosexuality. What do you mean by this? How would you like to see this play out?

Christians can own this issue by caring enough to get to know the whole person. If you think that identifying as LGBT is mainly about sex — that’s shallow. The theology of “whom we have sex with” might be black and white, but the person and related experiences aren’t. Once my mom told me that she and her partner hadn’t been intimate in years. I asked why she still called herself a lesbian. Her response was that she had a community filled with friends, acceptance, a cause and deep feelings. It reminded me that people have depth. Care enough about a person not to reduce them to their sexual orientation. If someone who is LGBT says that it’s not mainly about sex, why immediately throw the “homosexuality verses” their way? Talk about holy living down the road. Perhaps Christians can own this issue by being kind and making a new friend.

You challenge Christians to stop avoiding or merely “tolerating” LGBT people, but to engage in meaningful relationships with them. What should that look like?

The more Christians stop treating people in the LGBT community as “evangelistic projects” or “those people,” the more meaningful relationships will develop. Here’s the secret to engage in meaningful relationships with anyone: Treat people like actual people. Embrace the tension by developing friendships over meals, coffee and more. Engage in conversations. Try to understand who they are as a person (experiences, hopes, dreams, fears, etc.). Don’t seek to “fix” anyone, but point to Christ. Here’s a hard truth I came to learn over the years: It’s never been my job to change someone’s sexual attraction. God didn’t call me to “restore” LGBT people to a straight orientation. It’s not even my job to change lives. It’s God’s job. He has great experience in the “life change department.” My responsibility is to love people, make friends and journey with them.

You write that one definition of love is holding the tension of grace and truth. What do you mean by this and who do you think models this sort of love well?

The uncomfortable feeling in the tension of grace and truth is love. and God as well. However, love never harms. A theological conviction should never be a catalyst to treat someone poorly. We can accept the person without approving of their choice to be in (or pursue) a same-sex relationship. Love people, but remember what the Bible teaches. Deepen your relationships, but hold firm to conviction. Never give up on the person or Scripture. Love never takes sides. Love has no exception clause. I see this love lived out by some parents of gay teenagers. These parents love their kids no matter what and nothing about their relationship changes. They thank the teen for trusting them with this part of their life. At the same time, they hold true to what Scripture says not only about sexuality, but also about loving others.

What happens if our “love” is not accepted at all because we still hold to truth? What would you say to an LGBT person who argues that “acceptance but not approval” is not actually love? Isn’t that the direction society is moving, that anything short of full approval is actually bigotry?

To the LGBT person: Be careful taking a hardline stance on something that isn’t your foundational identity. Your main identity shouldn’t be defined by your sexual orientation; rather God should define it. People are entitled to their beliefs. Many examined Scripture, believe that sexual intimacy is for a man and woman in marriage, and aren’t homophobic or hateful. If these people are loved ones (being loving towards you) why shut them out? Don’t distance yourself because they don’t agree with you or the kind of relationship you might have. Don’t treat others who disagree with you the way you wouldn’t like to be treated. They might be intolerant in your mind for not agreeing with you. However, are they treating you poorly? Do they love you less? Do they not value you anymore? Don’t become intolerant by not giving them margin to have different views.

How should and how shouldn’t Christians respond if someone in their life or church community confides in them about same sex attraction?

Christians make too many mistakes when someone comes out to them. They try to advise counseling. At some point, they will throw out Bible verses concerning homosexuality or marriage. Some Christians try to “relate” and often compare same-sex attraction to other sins like murder, theft, etc. Emotions like depression and anger will usually set in. Unfortunately, these are all the wrong things to do. Everyone needs counseling, the person coming out probably knows how you interpret the Bible regarding sexuality, and they don’t want to be compared to Hannibal Lecter or Gordon Gekko. This is a moment to listen and affirm your love for them. Think of it this way: The people coming out to you have chosen to share a very intimate and personal part of their life because you are someone they value. You can never get this moment back, and responding the wrong way is devastating.

How should a Christian respond if invited to a same-sex marriage ceremony? Is attending a gay wedding a tacit affirmation of the sacredness of the vows being exchanged?

Attending may put you in a difficult position as one who believes marriage is for a man and woman. However, you’ll have influence in your relationship with the married person. Fear shouldn’t keep you from a situation where others disagree with you. There might be a chance to share your faith with others at the wedding. Later, when the newlywed has a season of doubt or turmoil, you might be the person they turn to (giving you the chance to share Jesus). But there are also reasons why you may not want to attend. Hurt feelings may result, but God created marriage for him and the couple. You need to stand for truth, and this might be one of those times. In the end, the couple might recognize and remember your integrity. Either option could carry relational difficulty, doctrinal tension or emotional baggage. My advice: Pray about it and represent Jesus well with your decision.

If celibacy is the only option for a same-sex-attracted Christian who wants to remain biblically faithful (you argue this in the book), what can the church do to better minister to these people? Can we just casually tell them “no sex for you!” and leave it at that?

Some argue the Bible doesn’t address same-sex loving monogamous relationships, so it’s fine. However, all passages dealing with homosexuality agree that same-sex intimacy isn’t God’s design — monogamous or not. Sexual intimacy is from God for a man and woman in the covenant of marriage. Outside of marriage, there shouldn’t be any expression of sexuality. Our sex-obsessed culture makes celibacy out to be cruel, when it’s a blessing. There’s more focus on God, freedom in life, acknowledgement of attraction while still holding to biblical convictions. Intimacy isn’t only sexual; it is also experienced through lifelong friendships, supporting causes and family. The church must create an atmosphere of relational opportunities for single people. For example, if a single person is sick, hospitalized, or needs help — the church should support them through small groups, funds and other ways. Celibacy is a sacrifice for Jesus, and the church needs to prepare for that sacrifice.

What are some ways local churches can better minister to the LGBT community?

Allow people to “belong before they believe.” If you’re going to ask people not to identify with the LGBT community, you’d better have another community ready for them! Give people margin for God to work in their lives. Healing and spiritual heart surgery takes time. Help people to feel safe about admitting struggle without fear of backlash. Create an environment where it’s OK for teenagers to ask questions and be authentic. Train youth leaders to listen and ask the right questions. Create support for parents of gay teenagers. Spend time with LGBT people outside and inside your church (they are there). Listen, ask questions and learn. Don’t allow church policies to hinder needed conversations.


Caleb Kaltenbach (M.A. ’07) is the lead pastor at Discovery Church in Simi Valley, Calif., and the author of Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction.

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  • Anna December 29, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    The whole article is condescending. I'm sure it is well intended, but it certainly doesn't come out and recognize the human rights issues and the violence, intimidation, bullying, shaming, blaming, hatred which gays and transgendered have suffered and continue to suffer from the hands of some Christians, including Christian governments. It would help to have a clear 'this is wrong' instead of a sort of 'this doesn't work, afterall we want to convert them' attitude. How about, 'They are just fine as they are!'

    To suggest that gays are being intolerant if they don't want to engage with people who invalidate their identity and have decided (for them!) that they should be celebate is ludicrous. This is an example of projection. Let's say that you are being very critical, you flip it and make the other person the critical one. That way you don't have to be aware of what you yourself are doing.

    Homophobia and prejudice and hatred towards those who are different in their sexual identity is fading, I think in time the majority of churches will be 'gay friendly' you might say. I can't say that a church who still looks at them as being unaccaptable as they are is 'gay friendly'. There are plenty of churches who are no longer practice prejudice.

    All you have to do is look at the hypocracy involved in the strong negative reaction to gay people compared to that of , say, divorced people. Jesus talked a great deal about divorce. You don't really see people getting all worked up about having divorced people in their churches, or people who are living together. That's because we don't have a societal prejudice against such. When society changes, the churches will follow. Too bad that the right wing churches couldn't lead-they always seem to be a decade or so behind. I went to Biola long long ago and they were always behind the times. I remember this one poor professor who got fired for being gay. How sad is that?

  • Caleb December 30, 2015 at 6:41 PM

    Anna,

    I'm the author of the book "Messy Grace" and the interviewee of this article, I would love to discuss your thoughts with you. I'm truly sorry if you were offended. That was not the intent in the least.

    As one who was raised in the LGBT community and has many friends who identify as LGBT in some way (as well as my parents)---my goal isn't to condescend at all. I've had many LGBT people review the book (and articles like this one) and while they haven't agreed with me on all points, they haven't had the same reaction.

    Please go to www.discoverychurch.com and email me. I would really love the chance to dialogue with you.

    God bless and have a Happy New Year!
    Caleb

  • etseq April 21, 2016 at 1:33 AM

    Anna is spot on - evangelical passive aggressive "love the sinner hate the sin" with an extra layer of deception. This entire approach is so manipulative that it would be insulting if tt wasn't so transparently absurd. There is the standard line about "belonging before believing" which boils down to - lure them in without fully disclosing that extent of just how incompatible being an out, non-self loathing gay person is with the hopes that they can be convinced to "give up the gay lifestyle" in order to be saved, which means total emotional and physical celibacy or marriage to a woman (and we know well those turn out). Even better, if the gay person is married, then divorce is required in order to be saved - talk about family values! I almost laughed when I read the advice about attending the wedding - I quote: .
    "There might be a chance to share your faith with others at the wedding. Later, when the newlywed has a season of doubt or turmoil, you might be the person they turn to (giving you the chance to share Jesus"
    This is almost creepy - attend a gay wedding where lots of other gays will be in the hopes that you can witness to them and convince them to again "abandon that gay lifestyle" or even better, the implication being that the gay couples marriage is doomed to fail so be there to swoop in when they are most vulnerable in the hopes that you can "sway" one or both of them to becoming a self-loathing re-closet case. Christians - you shall know them by their love!!! Man that is some twisted love...

  • teco May 12, 2016 at 9:12 AM

    I'm saddened by what I read in etseq's comments. I have a dear friend who's daughter has decided she was really meant to be a boy. My friend has elected to facilitate transgender transformation for her daughter in full force and has chosen to remove anyone from her life that doesn't support her "son's" decision. I have struggled to present the truth of God's word without acting in a quasi-enforcer role. I too sin and would not condemn my loved ones because of their sin. I don't approach the subject with her.... I don't "brow beat" her with the Bible. I nod compassionately as the struggles their family encounters are real... and painful. But when asked what I think... I speak the truth of Christ which defines LGBT sexuality as sin. Because I have held firm that God's word is the truth, I am seeing... and mourning the dwindling of a decades long friendship. Etseq's comments discourage me further.... because they underscore what I observe in my friend and her daughter (son)... their view is anything short of complete and utter acceptance that LGBT sexuality and lifestyle is fine and absolutely completely ok....equates to hate and judgement. There is no middle ground. Etseq's remarks mirror that of the LGBT community that I have met through my friend. Unless you're "for" LGBT.... you are the enemy. Sharing God's word.... if that word speaks against LGBT sexuality.... is hate. No exceptions. Speaking God's word equates to hate. With that mentality.... how does a Christian who hates sin but loves sinners (in no small part because I happen to BE one)... find middle ground, commonality, and exchange of lovingness with others who are in the LGBT community? It's truly sad.

  • Linda Brown May 19, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    Caleb Kaltenbach is correct that it is God who changes anyone's heart, but his claim that his responsibility is therefore to just "love people, make friends and journey with them" really appalled me. Mr. Kaltenbach seems to have forgotten that Jesus' last command to his believers was to "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel and make disciples." His entire interview was geared to the same "Just love us!" line that I and many other believers received when testifying at our state legislature's committee hearing on LGBT issues last year. In between their screaming for us to show more love and acceptance, they exhibited plenty of gross intolerance and hatred for those sharing opposing views on the decision to be made by the committee. However well Mr. Kaltenbach has learned to deal with his unusual family background, he's incredibly wrong on several other key points as well. I won't be able to recommend his book, but I know that God will use him as he strives to help other believers on this very difficult issue.

  • Caleb Kaltenbach July 26, 2016 at 2:39 AM

    Linda
    Have you read my book? I'm guessing you haven't so how could you not recommend it? I take an orthodox stance on sexuality throughout the book. It's endorsed by many including profs from Talbot, Dallas Seminary, the Gospel Coalition, SBC, etc.

    But if you're that quick to judge I can see why you wouldn't like my book.

    There's a difference between acceptance and approval--
    -Acceptance: loving a person where they are (Matt 5:46-47; Lk 6:35)
    -Approval: you can't support every life choice a person makes.

    Praying for your tone & graciousness.

  • pat rojas August 31, 2016 at 9:05 AM

    A lesbian couple asked me this question. Would God send someone to hell because they loved someone .My answer was no.They would wind up in hell because they rejected Jesus Christ as their Savior.With 1/2 of one percent of the body of Christ involved in evangelism the chances of most of America winding up in hell are grave.Read Ezek.9,13,Is.30,Gal1:8-9,1Pet.4:17.With some 70-80% of attendees of evangelical church's not BornAgain it's no wonder books written are soft on sin,huge on false teaching.Emergent church movement is flagrant rejection of the Word of God.Many emergent will hear these words Depart from me I never knew you.Matt 7:14-23

  • Bev February 12, 2017 at 10:09 AM

    My daughter is gay and has a gay partner. My daughter in law makes the sign of the cross every time she walks by them and also won't allow her children to sit by or talk to them at our family gatherings. I asked her to leave our house last night because she was being rude, judgmental and unloving. She said she did not want her children around these people and took each child out of the house to tell them her thoughts on this. Her husband, my son also does not agree with her stance on this issue. I don't know how to deal with this in a way that won't negatively affect my 3 grandchildren, 3 boys, age 7, 10 and 14. Any thoughts and or scripture recommendations? My daughter in law goes to a Greek Orthadox Church and the rest of our family go to a non denomination Christian church

  • Rev Clyde Baker April 10, 2017 at 7:17 PM

    Thank you Rev Kaltenbach for responding to some comments. You're making a good start. But I encourage you to do some deeper thinking. Sin, for example. What sin in today's world is not directly connected to harm? We do ourselves and our faith an injustice when we insist on calling something sinful which does no harm to anyone. Remember long hair? Rock and roll? So also, the Christ-centered, life-time commitment of two mature adults to honor, fidelity and support does no harm to anyone--in fact it strengthens the walk of faith for the couple and brings blessings to the community in which they live and serve. We only harm ourselves and grieve the Holy Spirit when we call that sin.
    There are several other aspects where you seem to be selling our faith short. I would hope you would be willing to wrestle with this. I am willing to listen. I would love to correspond.

  • True Believer May 1, 2017 at 5:52 PM

    Rev Clyde Baker

    We don't get to choose what is or isn't sin! If you actually studied the bible you would know all of God's principles are timeless and never change. The worst kind of Christian is a leuke warm choose what suits me believer. For 6:9-11 declares all sexual deviants have no place in the kingdom of heaven. You're spewing dangerous deceitful lies in order to justify same sex marriage promoting spiritual death. We are made in God's image period and there is no room for homosexuality if Jesus is truly in your heart. Love the sinner hate the sin is the only biblically approved behavior. Stop referring to yourself as Rev it isn't fooling anyone.

  • A reader June 5, 2017 at 5:15 AM

    Caleb, I don't need to read your book to see that your efforts to encourage gay people into Christ's bosom is most probably an example of the age-old shyster traveling preacher act. I'd forgive you for that more quickly if the ancient text that you're capitalizing on (hopefully it's simply that and not some personal contempt) didn't so completely shame and make filth of those who are homosexual. . It would be harmless if you were not selling spiritual poisoning to desperate LGBT children. My only relief is that your book is probably barely seen by them, and is mostly (spottily) read by rich straight housewives. The LGBTQ community has suffered enough slobber alresdy, make your money writing earnestly.

  • Luxitos June 6, 2017 at 11:30 AM

    Seriously? You attend a state legislature committee on LGBT issues (to deny and block them, I'm sure) and you have the audacity to wonder why you are labelled as the enemy?

    Belief is one thing, but when you petition the government to deny rights and benefits to people who live outside the rules of your religion then you are no better than the Taliban.

  • Meri June 21, 2017 at 3:20 PM

    Caleb
    Do you have an email address to submit heartfelt quieations on this subject?

  • Tohru Melody July 6, 2017 at 6:31 PM

    I know that I'm young (16), and I don't know much, but I believe that we should love people and get to know them better instead of labeling them. I met the sweetest person over the internet who has just been a shine to my day every day. I light up whenever I receive a text from him. He told me earlier that his family rejected him for coming out of the closet. His whole story was heartbreaking. I knew I needed to be there for him. So I'm still treating him the same way I did before I knew about his sexuality. He has been so grateful for my kindness and we enjoy every moment together.

    I think that instead of quoting scriptures when a person comes out to us, the best way that we can represent Jesus Christ is to be kind and listen to them. Forcing the Bible on them and rejecting them are two of the main reasons why they are so afraid of us. We may not be able to change their minds, but that was never our job in the first place. Our mission is to show them the same love that Jesus showed to us. He never condemns us for what we do or what we think. He loves us no matter what. The Bible says that homosexuality is wrong, and whatever is in our God's Holy Word is true and will remain true. But that doesn't mean that we should completely shut someone out because they are a homosexual. We love because He loved us first.

    I really hope I don't offend anyone. I hate starting fights. But I've been wrestling with this issue for a long time and I don't want to take action in an aggressive or mean way. I respect you all and your beliefs and this is mine.

  • Derry July 7, 2017 at 8:21 AM

    Tohru, you are quite wise for only being 16! The way you are responding to your friend on the Internet is the way Jesus responded to everyone He came in contact with. He loved people and got to know them, despite behaviors in their lives that He didn't endorse. He listened to them and spoke compassionately, respecting their dignity as human beings that He had created. When He spoke, it was with both grace AND truth. As followers of Jesus, we represent Him well by imitating Him!

    Caleb, thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. What you have to say holds a lot of weight coming from your background. I agree that our foundational identity is not in our sexual orientation- we are SO much more than that! It is indeed time for Christians to “own” the issue of homosexuality by stopping the assumptions and caring about the person - as a person - who is inherently valuable, thoughtfully and lovingly made in the image of God.

  • Nonymous July 27, 2017 at 4:54 AM

    To Tohru

    Your comment has really been insightful. And as a Christian who's trying to dig deeper it's been hard on how to directly relate to gay men or lesbian women. And with your answer I'm put at peace and my heart feels the need to even love even more and abstain the hate. Love is the truest thing. It's the beginning to developing and leaving a long lasting imprint that can improve, transform or aid. I'm going to lead in peace and love with the truth of God and life of Jesus being the exemplary. That's what needed today on this Earth, across every corner. I pray I learn to love, rebuke hate and fear...and so to you
    With peace and love, a growing Christian

  • Tohru Melody August 4, 2017 at 5:55 AM

    To Nonymous

    Thank you so much for that comment! Jesus spent time with all kinds of people who were different. Not just other Christians. He loves them just as much as He loves us. God is no respecter of persons. And He calls us to be the same way. It breaks my heart though that a lot of the LGBTQ community hates us. They are afraid of us because they know that most Christians condemn them for what they do, and try to force them to stop and convert them to Christianity. That's kind of how we got our reputation as a homophobic faith. But God said in His Word that our job is only to SHARE Christ, as well as the Good News of salvation, and most importantly the love that He showed to everyone while He was on Earth, regardless of sexual orientation or lifestyle. Whoever wants to to actually receive Christ will know it in their hearts and seize the opportunity. And if they reject it, well, that's their choice, too. We're not supposed to try and change their minds. But maybe if we tried a different approach instead of attacking them, they wouldn't dread us so much.

    I really hope that I don't seem like I'm trying to be a know-it-all (I mean really, I haven't even finished Highschool! I'm only 10th grade! Lol) but I firmly believe this is the truth. Jesus is really sad when we are harsh and hateful and mean to people. It doesn't matter what they're doing in their lives. Nothing justifies cruelty. But I'm not trying to force anyone to believe EXACTLY what I do. Again, that's completely up to you guys. I totally respect everyone else's opinions and you all have the right to give them. :)

  • Pastor Pete August 17, 2017 at 6:09 AM

    I'm not militant or hateful toward homosexuals, by why are we treating the sin of homosexuality with such a high degree of caution and sensitivity? Do we approach thievery, extortion, bribery, greed, adultery, rape or child abuse in such a manner as this? Have scores and score of books been written on "How to deal with an invitation to a bomb making class?" The bottom line is that homosexuality represents a gross abomination in the sight of God, and it is to be condemned to the same degree and with the same language employed in Scripture. Should a Christian attend a gay wedding ceremony? Must we spend gobs of energy and time discussing the proper Christian response to such an obvious matter as this? The answer is a resounding NO! Once again, I'm not advocating hate or scorn, as I believe God is calling all Christians to emulate his message , character and attributes, but there is now way of avoiding conflict when taking a stand for righteousness within the sphere of this fallen world. And it's certainly not the will of God for Billy and Johnny to snuggle comfortably on the couch at the home of Billy's Christian parents during the holidays, as if its "business as usual". Neither Billy or Johnny should ever feel comfortable about their sin, and as I see it, Billy should be welcome into his parents home, but not Johnny, and the reason for this should be graciously and biblically explained to both parties. When Jesus said He came not to bring peace on the earth but a sword, and to set a man at odds with the members of his household, He was talking about the high cost of discipleship, and of the natural division that will result from taking a stand for the will, way and standard of God.

  • Minnesota August 22, 2017 at 10:36 AM

    Pastor Pete,

    Imagine how many kids over the years have killed themselves because righteous anger was the loudest voice in their heads at the bitter end.

    You will never know the exact number because they never dared to step out of the closet, so you can at least count yourself successful for helping stop that nonsense. But, it still amounts to bloodshed.

    There is no such thing as conditional compassion.

    Woe unto you.

  • Yale Kim August 29, 2017 at 8:21 PM

    How do I serve as a missionary in my high school to the lgbtq community? Because just having a good relationship with them isn't going to make anything happen.

  • Christy Rogers September 30, 2017 at 4:33 PM

    As a woman who was a non-Christian lesbian for over 30 years I found this article refreshing and exactly in-line with my experience to conversion. I sought a loving community that accepted my brokenness and found it with my lesbian sisters and gay brothers. I now find an unconditional love I never knew before with Christ and my fellow believers. I have been converted and am not the same person I was before...the last three years as a Christian have been the best of my life.

    My prayer is for all, gay or whatever, to find this same acceptance through the love and sacrifice of Christ. He heals all our desires or confusion of the flesh and strengthens us. I look forward to reading your book so I can recommend it to friends. God bless you and your parents, they raised a fine young man. For those that think waving your banners at the pride marches as you scream how much of a sinner I am, search your heart and act in love...you did more against God than for Him and actually made me never want to know Jesus. He had to seek me out and convert me Himself and I praise Him everyday for setting me apart from my sinful nature so I could repent be and be made new.

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:36 PM

    For centuries predominant Christian thought on the issue of homosexuality has been blunt negation and hatred. For centuries, it was a crime to be openly homosexuality. If you came out of the closet, at least in medieval Europe, you would be burned at the stake. If you came out in any time period before the 1990's, you would most likely be socially ostracized. Now, predominant Western thought has taken a 180 degree spin, and now you have the same people who would a generation ago scream homophobic rhetoric talk in a tone with complete moderation. Now, we need to sympathize with them? The desire to appease all sides of the debate, and come across as a speaker for God. You know what I think? These Pastors have become weak in the face of societal change. Society changes, and immediately they change their gospel, which previously condemned homosexuality and homosexuals as people who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Now, they want us to accept of homosexuals as people. Weird, how that works. These same people believe morality to be objective, and yet their attitudes towards homosexuality change that instantaneously. I'm not necessarily referring to only Caleb when I speak of this. However, he is what I would call the moderate whose trying to appeal to everyone. It's PR move in order to appeal to bigots and tolerant people. However when he speaks out against homosexual acts and homosexual sexual relationships, he thinks that is "conviction" and "truth." This Pastor thinks he's speaking truth, when really he's just preaching from a book written by degenerates who had no knowledge of what ethics were. A "chosen people" who think everyone who doesn't believe in their God will go to hell and burn for an eternity. Placed their by the "loving" God. The same "truth" that thinks the Earth is 6,000 years old. The same "truth" that thinks a talking snake is the reason why humans wear clothes. Yeah, I take this "truth" with a grain of salt. It's nothing but outdated primitive superstition. This is "truth" to him. Sorry, it's stupidity and ignorance. Homophobia is a sign of degeneracy,and a sign that one probably has a lower than average IQ.

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:54 PM

    I have to mention this. The Bible is a book that actually called for the death by stoning of homosexuals in the Old Testament. I have to ask this Pastor. Are we able to call these practices and laws barbaric? Even though they are decreed by God himself? This is anything but loving towards homosexuals, and it's also Biblical. Homosexuals were put into the same boat as murderers and thieves in the Bible. Whenever homosexuality is mentioned. It's mentioned under a negative portrayal. Bionically, I have concluded that they should be treated as murderers are treated. By stoning. Am I wrong? If I'm wrong, is God wrong? There is a reason Christian societies have taken hundreds of years to affirm the right to live to homosexuals. It's because their Old Testament and New Testament(Paul said they wouldn't inherit the kingdom of God) condemn them as people, and them to repress all sexual desire, or risk divine consequence. We need to give credit where credit is due. Logic and reason and empathy. We achieved equality for homosexuals in spite of the Bible, and not because of it. I hope the people on this comment thread realize how toxic the Bible is. Minnesota, your right to respond to Pastor Pete that way, but bionically, he's correct. Realize your condemnation of his righteousness is anti Biblical. I know you might want to view this through the lens of you being on the side of God, but you aren't. And the Laws in Leviticus prove that,

  • A.L. Stephens October 4, 2017 at 8:58 PM

    corrections
    "bionically" should be biblical Correction error.
    "and them" should be, and asks them
    And the Laws in Leviticus prove that.

  • Ross N October 13, 2017 at 9:16 PM

    I can say out of all these comments that ‘True Believer’ is no better than the chrisitian version of the taliban and a cruel person. The reverend isn’t choosing what’s son and what’s not but choosing how to handle actions towards gay people and big necessarily biblically condoning it. True Belovsd is nothing but close to a terrorist type of thinking and is far from a Christian.

  • Tony Diaz November 17, 2017 at 5:47 AM

    Hello Pastor Kaltenbach,
    I hope and pray that you are doing well. It takes a man of God to write and be steadfast with the truth of the word of God. Keep up the good work. God never said that it would be easy, right? I commend you for writing on such a difficult subject. Again, it takes a follower of Jesus Christ to discern truth. May the Lord continue to bless you mightily.

  • Steven Meyers December 11, 2017 at 10:35 PM

    Just an observation. I am writing my doctoral dissertation on servant leadership inclusiveness in light of the LGBT agenda. It presents a true dilemma. The problem that I have is that most sinful behavior is recognized by the sinner as such: Sinful. So many gays and lesbians simply do not believe that they are wrong in any way, or that what they do is sinful in God's eyes just as any other sin. Many tend to rationalize it away or sweep it under the rug, using the tired, old "I was born that way" nonsense. If the LGBT Christian is truly remorseful for their sin, they will no longer be a practicing homosexual. They will embrace celibacy and not engage in their sin. Their sin is no worse than any other sin, it is just that most don't want to call it what it is and always has been, sin.

  • Sarah January 12, 2018 at 8:47 AM

    Dear Caleb, I really appreciated the article and plan to read your book. My little sister is a lesbian and getting married this summer. We have always been very close, and is my best friend. When she came out to me, it hurt our relationship because I believe homosexuality to be a sin, and it was a surprise to her that I didn’t change my beliefs because of my relation with her. Honestly I wish I could. I love my sister so much, and I don’t totaly understand this one, I’m just trusting that God is good even when I don’t understand Him. Anyways, I’ve made a lot of missteps with my sister, and I feel so clumsy in how to love her well without compromising my faith. After a lot of prayer and discernment I realized I couldn’t attend her wedding but I’m devastated and so saddened at the relational cost. Can you advise on how to love her well? It might be t I late. I just haven’t heard many conservative Christians speak with such a loving perspective as you did in the article. Thanks

  • Lisa January 26, 2018 at 4:28 AM

    Sarah, your comment moved me, as I too am brokenhearted over my 17 yr.old niece who just 'came out' . Her parents are angry that my husband and I believe that homosexuality is a sin, even though we have expressed our love for her no matter what she does! If the day ever comes that she get's 'married', I know that I cannot attend the wedding either. I feel so bad for you and your sister. I also feel 'clumsy' about how to move forward in my relationship with my niece and her parents. Caleb, I just bought your book (along with 4 others on the same topic!) and look forward to reading about your unique perspective on this issue. God Bless us all as we navigate these tricky situations and trust in His Word. Thanks!

  • Tim Nee February 12, 2018 at 2:08 PM

    We are living in fallen world. All mankind deals with some type of sin and fallenness. Good shows His attitude toward the lost in three stories in Luke 15. Jesus did not come into the world to condemn anyone, but motivated by incredible love, to reconcile us back to a love relationship with God by taking upon Himself the punishment for all sin, which happened upon the cross. He died, to pay the penalty of all sin which is death for all mankind, and when He rose from the dead 3 days later He won the victory over every sin and all of our ultimate enemy...death. If Jesus did not rise, the Bible states that Christianity would be foolish.
    People in their short life can form opinions, but those opinions will die right along with them. There are only 2 eternal things in this world, a person's soul and the inspired God breathed word of God.
    Nobody has to believe in God. The fallenness I dealt with in my life included many different sinful behaviors, including, homosexuality which is not an identity but a fallen sinful Behavior.... When Jesus started His ministry He said He was proclaiming good news, that His heart was to heal the brokenhearted, and to set captives free.
    I could care less about the opinions I or anyone else comes to believe in one short life time. There is spiritual activity going on all around us, there is an enemy of man, the fallen angel Lucifer who loves to lie,steal,kill and destroy, just look around..I am so thankful that I tasted and saw that God is good and love, and so kind. His loving Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to no longer be blind to the good news of the finished work of Jesus in His sacrificial death on the cross,burial and Resurrection and how that relates to me personally. I am a new creation , alive with hope for today and eternal hope....I could go on and on about how good God is but I will end my 2 cents with 1 verse from (Romans 2:4) Or do you despise The Riches of his goodness, forbearance, and long-suffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?
    So many of us Christians have misrepresented the goodness, kindness and holy Majesty of our loving Lord. Any who do not know Him, I hope you call out to Him someday, He longs to be gracious to you also!!!! Humble yourself, draw near to God and He will draw near to you. .... God resists the proud, He gives grace to the humble. Peace, hope and love are available to whosoever chooses, God will not override free will. Repentance is having a change of heart and mind towards what God calls sin, and turning to God who loves you more than you can ever fully comprehend until we see Him face to face when this short life is over.

  • Genesis February 13, 2018 at 9:21 PM

    the word tells us that people will turn to false prophets that speak on lies so that
    Their hearts desire will be justified. The word also tells us to love the sinner not the sin.
    It also tells us that we battle NOT against flesh and blood but against principalities.
    The word also tells us that the devil is prince of this earth so naturally when we stand for
    Gods truth we are persecuted or labeled as bigots or being judgmental. I struggle with this but
    My future in laws are gay so I’ve had to learn to fight (learn the word) in order to know where to stand when it comes to my relationship with Christ and them (how to learn to glorify God and not man). One thing I take away from this post is that man kind will begin to shun Christians (duh) in the attempt to shut out the word.(truth) be not discouraged because the word tells us we will have tribulations in this life time. Christ was persecuted and so will those who follow Him. With all that being said love is a commandment, and Jesus hung with the sinnners. For those of you who know, God is NOT a confusing God - stop confusing Him with man- learn the word - it’s NOT going to change. I am a sinner, I just sinned while writing this post (please get my drift here I’m not perfect) in fact, no sin is greater than another, but we can not justify sin, that is when we as “Christians” begin to let go of the truth. We should strive for better, CONSTANTLY, we can not be lukewarm. Yo I’m just rambling now -but all I’m saying is I have love for anyone (as should any Christian because if you don’t then you DONT know God) , but the word is the word.

  • Mae February 26, 2018 at 9:53 PM

    I definitely appreciate your sentiment in writting this article. It helped me realize some of the misunderstandings that some straight christians might have about the LGBT+ community. For example, your question to your mom, asking why she still identifies as lesbian if she doesn't have sex anymore. It honestly never occurred to me that some people would view same sex relationships as primarily sexual in nature. Personally, I really don't have any desire for sex with men or women, but I do want to be in a relationship with a girl, because that just feels right. I just get warm fuzzy feelings when I think about it. So, same sex relationships are the same as opposite sex relationships in that sex can be a part of them, but the main part of the relationship is love. I personally have a hard time understanding why you or God would think that is wrong
    But I do understand that you are trying to be the best person you can be, as we all are.

  • Eric April 1, 2018 at 9:31 PM

    The word is enough and true my brothers and sisters. Do not doubt it or equivocate on it. Love the sinner, hate the sin, including your own and repent constantly and sincerely as a humble way of life. But do not bear false witness on the word as you know better, and our God deserves no such scrutiny!

  • Beverly April 7, 2018 at 9:26 PM

    Jude says to "contend earnestly for the faith." and goes on to speak candidly of sexual sin. He does not waver in what he speaks. I believe Jesus would have us love the gay person, but He would not neglect an opportunity to tell them to repent, "go and sin no more" and to be careful not to sin again, because a worse thing could happen to them. I believe many Christians are fed up with the militant gays, not the ones who are hurting and just want to be loved. It's important that they understand that we don't agree with their choice, but equally important that we let them know that we value them and that God wants the best for them. What isn't addressed is that we have blood on our hands if we're afraid of being called homophobic, and don't speak the truth. But as Paul said, "Speak the truth in love."

  • Muri April 27, 2018 at 10:05 AM

    just reading this comments section is a perfect representation of how the vast majority, in the church, feels about the issue...

  • Heather April 30, 2018 at 11:22 AM

    All this is interesting but does not solve my diemma. My grandaughter is gay and has known her partner since she was 11. When I found out I knew this would be a dilemma if they would decide to marry. As a Christian I do not believe in the gay life style and have often said I would accept a ceremony with another name and same rights as marriage but believe the definition of marriage should not be changed I have never discussed my feelings on this with my grandchildren because we live far away and I have only seen them about 10 times.even though they are in their late 20's. However Im sure they know that I am a serious Christian.
    They now are planning to marry and I dont know what to do. To my friends I immediately said that I could not attend the wedding without being a hypocrite and did not know how to tell them.
    I have met my granddaughters partner and spent a whole day with them. We had a lovely time (surprizingly because they were in their early 20's and Im in my 70's. I love them both and know it would hurt my granddaughter very much not to attend.
    Recently I talked to a friend who told me how much it hurt her for her brother not to attend her wedding (for other reasons). She then asked me 'what would Jesus do' This really made me think. I also realized that I did not seek the Lords advice and just assumed I should not go. I am now leaning towards going but another friend suggested that I still must let them know that I do not approve of their lifestyle. All this is hard for me as I do love them BOTH (i even send her partner Christmas gifts when I send one to my granddaughter. All I do know is that I must let them know that even with my beliefs I still love them very much. Please pray for wisdom for me in this decision.

  • Jason May 17, 2018 at 3:22 AM

    Dear Caleb Kaltenbach,

    I myself am a Christian but are you familiar with a man named Rick Warren? Because I have just one huge question for you regarding to him, will religious freedom be the civil-rights issue of the next decade?


  • Paul Fishman June 1, 2018 at 11:11 AM

    You have some good points. A declared Homosexual person cannot of their own volition become a heterosexual BUT can by the power of Christ abstain from the behavior and lifestyle to live a pure holy life. The power of Christ if allowed in their life to change and function can bring fullness of joy and purity. Freedom from pornography and sexual addiction of any type is the best way with constant pure thoughts. The homosexual lifestyle and behavior has its foundation much in pornography. If someone has the tendency they have NOT sinned are are NOT condemned. They must live life in Christ to have a new identity. There is NO such thing as being Christian and being gay. If you are in Christ You are NO LONGER gay even with the tendencies but a new person. If later on they become hetersexual and marry that is up to God.

  • Renee June 17, 2018 at 6:30 AM

    Now I know a lot of people are going to jump up and down and get all over me for this; but sometimes love has to be tough. There's no excuse to condone sin and i don't care who's sin it is, or what sin it is. Discipleship has a price. People have (and in some places today still do) lay down their lives for the sake of the Kingdom. And yes, the truth brings division. That's part of life.

    Now this whole "gay Christian / remain celibate" thing I find an absolute farce because it's made on an assumption that people can't change. People change all the time and people's "orientations" change too. (Change your thought process, you change your behavior.) Now it's not usually something that happens overnight; especially if someone is entrenched in a particular ideology. Yet it does happen and more often than people with an agenda would be willing to admit. In a good percent of cases it happens without any intervention and "no body ever knew".

    And here is another idea I think is a misperception. I've heard in many places about accepting the homosexual as a whole person; yet how many times to you see the "orientation" itself becomes an identity crisis obsessed over by the homosexual person? Individuals of certain ethnic minorities have the same problem. They are all caught up in "identity politics". Your not "black" or "gay" or even gender orientated before you are a human being. None of these surface factors should be seen as more important than the totality of what is a human being and what does it mean to be created in the image of God / accountable to the Entity that created you? That's the big picture that all of humanity faces.

  • Renee June 17, 2018 at 6:31 AM

    Now the whole question of "What would Jesus do?" Well, I think we got some pretty good examples in the Bible. Yes, Jesus "sat down with tax collectors and sinners"; yet if you look at the context of all of every single one of those interactions - none of them - either of the people in those categories that invited him, or Jesus himself ever condoned or ignored the sin.

    Were there places, situations or even people Jesus avoided for the sake of understanding, "There's certain things I don't want in my head." and / or "There are potential dangers I'm not going to put myself in." and / or "There are things I don't want it to appear by my presence that I condone." Yes, there were. He probably never went in a Roman bath house; or at least not the sordid ones and I'm sure he never walked into a brothel either. There were plenty of those in the ancient world too. There are events recorded in the Scripture where Jesus didn't "stick around" because he knew there were people who meant him harm. So although Paul does say "All things are lawful for me ...." But that doesn't mean it's a good idea! And most importantly "I will not be a slave to anything."

    And Yes there were instances when people with an agenda tried to set others up, yet notice too what Jesus did in those circumstances. He turned right around to the deceptive individuals and pointed their sin out to them.

    Ya know, people who are "accepting of everyone" don't get crucified!

  • R July 6, 2018 at 8:53 AM

    I’m a gay person and this is painful to read, but I so appreciate the honesty and I appreciate that you all are trying hard to be good people and don’t want to hurt anyone. I know it takes a long time to untangle a deep seated belief that has been there for so long and it’s a scary thing to do. Maybe you worry that if you change that belief, it would call into question many other beliefs and then pretty soon, your whole foundation is ripped from underneath you. That would be scary. But courage is bravery in the face of fear and I believe your Christian foundation will be just as strong if not stronger if you display that courage and if you have enough faith in the core of your religion to know that you can look deeply within it without having it implode. I believe there is a way you can change your belief about homosexuality and still maintain all your others. Some bits of the Bible are a bit outdated - mixing fabrics, eating shellfish, eating pork etc - reason being that at the time, those things posed a practical threat. Maybe at the time, the world needed more people so the idea of a marriage without children could be threatening to the future of the world. We’re now at a time where the world is overpopulated actually, and we’re also at a time where gay marriages can yield children. A lot has changed. The basic principals of not lying, cheating, stealing, killing, etc - the golden rule of treating people how you’d want to be treated - etc those are the principals that were meant to stay - the guidance around them just helped everyone survive and they can be slightly re-interpreted as the world changes over long periods of time. The core though - the basic principals - those were created to withstand any change and they should.

  • R July 6, 2018 at 8:54 AM

    I’ll tell you as a gay person, I can’t go my life without love. I’d kill myself. Most people would. Love is everything. I can’t be in love with someone of the opposite sex the way you can’t be in love with someone of the same sex. I could try and convince you and threaten your life and your afterlife - but it wouldn’t make you in love with someone of the same sex. Could you fake it? For a little while, sure - but then you’re either having an affair later which involves lying and cheating and intentional deception on top of homosexuality, or you’re living without ever being in love. The options here are unbearable. Please genuinely close your eyes and imagine yourself in our shoes. Imagine the person you’ve loved most in your life - someone who loved you back maybe - someone who made you better and whom you made better - pure and good love, now imagine you were told you’d go to hell and betray God and your family if you continued to love him/her. Imagine the only way you could be a good person is if you only had sex with and married someone of the same sex. Or if you never had a relationship at all. Don’t put people in that position - don’t make them choose between life and love, and support your loved ones who feel they’ve had to. They need you badly. Let’s all get together and put our energy towards standing up against real evil - hatred. There’s a lot of it in the world. I feel pretty strongly that God knows the only way to combat hate is to promote love, and that love is not something to fight against.

  • Steve July 28, 2018 at 5:25 AM

    Here's the biggest problem we have ... there is no such thing as "being gay". Gay is a term used by the left to rationalize homosexual behavior. It's a calmer word the left uses to make it seem normal and innocuous. When you hear the word "gay" you don't hear the word "homosexual", so it seems nicer. It's the same way the left uses "pro-choice" instead of "abortion". Being "pro-choice" and "gay" doesn't sound harsh and intolerant. Using those terms make people feel okay about doing something wrong. And it's become so strong they actually believe something wrong is not wrong any longer. We can't get caught up in using those terms or we fall into the trap of compromise. If we even use those terms we give credence and legitimacy to them. God didn't, doesn't, and will never create "gay" people. So we shouldn't use that term because it's a compromise.

    However, we also shouldn't condemn. We should just share the Gospel because that's all we're supposed to do. We're not supposed to change people. That's God's job, and we're not God. But we cannot tolerate the hatred these radical groups like the LGBTQ use. They are the intolerant ones. They are the hateful ones. We just share the gospel and allow God to use His Holy Spirit to convict unsaved people. And anyone who openly and proudly practices homosexual behavior is unsaved. A true believer would NEVER openly and proudly practice this behavior. A true believer will can secretly practice this behavior, but will be miserable in their sin, just like any truly born again believer is miserable in our sin.

    As believers we are most miserable when we are living in sin. We're NEVER open and proud about it because we know in our hearts that it's wrong. So we should avoid condemning any individual sin and just share the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The Gospel saves and changes lives, not us. But we should NEVER condone evil in any way.

  • Jessica August 2, 2018 at 2:38 PM

    Forsaking *all* I follow Christ. Whatever it is, I love Jesus more. To live....is Christ. Identity is no longer in myself . It’s in Christ. I am found in Him. My life is not me, it’s Christ, everyday. My life is worship to Him. Really love Him and obey His commands w His help. That’s the cost of being a disciple folks...

  • Jeannine Holmes August 8, 2018 at 7:08 AM

    I AGREE with the author Caleb. The issue is ones Spiritual nature. I always tell people, “It’s a Spiritual thang, you wouldn’t understand unless you’ve been Born Again “. Everything that this man says and anyone else, is going to irritate you because it goes against the grain of what you want you want to do. In the meantime, it’s up to us Christians to love you and any other sinner, lier, adulterer, theif, etc......unconditionally whether you surrender your life to Christ or no!
    God Bless You❤️

  • E August 27, 2018 at 10:39 PM

    I appreciate this conversation- it sounds like an interesting read. As a Christian, I struggle with finding the balance between my spiritual beliefs and demonstrating love. I have friends who are gay, and I love them for who they are inside- not their gender expression or sexual orientation. It's unfortunate that if you are not affirming, then you are considered small minded, hateful, prejudiced, and homophobic. I chose not to share my beliefs outwardly because I don't want to hurt others or be hurt for my own beliefs. I have to lie about my religious beliefs at work (and I have been confronted , most recently for forgetting that I had poured my morning coffee in a mug with a Bible verse and then took it to work) because if I dont, then I will be fired. I think that I only truly discuss it with maybe 2-3 other people. I wish that there could be a balance. There are so many beliefs in the world. Trying to force one on everyone isn't helpful. I try to think of whether it will be more harmful than helpful. Contributing to someone's despair, depression, and possible suicide is never worth it. I may not always be in agreement, but I still want to show love. It's sad when any group is protested, called names, and abused.

  • Qrst September 1, 2018 at 11:30 PM

    E, I would highly suggest that you find a way to leave your place of employment. It sounds like you’re compromising out of fear. What does Jesus say will happen if we deny him? May we you’re worried that you won’t find another job? Or that you’ll lose your friends? Or even be harassed? So instead you’re living in fear. It’s not the right way to live. You’re gong to realize you’re not gaining anything by staying in that workplace or spending time with those friends.

  • Antonio September 8, 2018 at 7:04 AM

    If one is not following in God's true ways, the sin is sin. Man just wants it his way, not God's way.

  • T September 12, 2018 at 10:55 PM

    (Part 1/3) "What happens if our “love” is not accepted at all because we still hold to truth? What would you say to an LGBTQ person who argues that “acceptance but not approval” is not actually love? Isn’t that the direction society is moving, that anything short of full approval is actually bigotry?"

    The interviewer is dead on with this. Even in the two years since this article was written and three since "Messy Grace" was published, it has become more a more political and polarized issue. As a 21 year old Christian, I feel this wholeheartedly. I recently did a 7 month stint in LA and this is especially true in LA that if you're not for you're automatically a bigot and labeled simple minded.

    Yet still, in the midst of all this choosing sides, I have become obsessed with this idea of keeping my conviction yet being still loving...I don't know if they're just silent or people my age really just don't share the same stance on this issue...because I've literally met thousands of people my age...and haven't found one yet who shares my beliefs in this to love the sinner but hate the sin in regards to homosexuality...not one.

    To be quite frank and honest, I haven't really found compelling arguments against homosexuality in regards to the original translations of the Bible...let's say, the Bible was perfectly translated and the verses that contain references to homosexual behaviors mean just that (a man having sex with another man). To be honest, from my research, even now, the Bible doesn't seem explicitly say anything about homosexuality in regards to a loving relationship...but one could refute this in saying sex is an integral part of a marriage relationship...it really isn’t as polar of an issue as it’s made out to be...

  • Carson Ball September 18, 2018 at 10:53 AM

    In response to the question, "How Should Christians Respond to Gay Friends or Family Members?" I think Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, II said it well on October 12, 2017. I'll paraphrase below as he listed a number of values that must be supported.
    --
    All moral people, regardless of religious beliefs, must support LGBTQ rights.
    --

    Bishop John Shelby Spong also put it well when he said, "I will no longer engage the biblical ignorance that emanates from so many right-wing Christians about how the Bible condemns homosexuality, as if that point of view still has any credibility."

  • Carson Ball September 18, 2018 at 11:02 AM

    Teco, by saying the following, 'I have a dear friend who's daughter has decided she was really meant to be a boy. My friend has elected to facilitate transgender transformation for her daughter in full force and has chosen to remove anyone from her life that doesn't support her "son's" decision.' you have invalidated your friend's son's gender thrice.

    First, you referred to the child as your friend's "daughter" even though they are a boy. Secondly, you said, "decided she was really meant to be a boy." No one decides on their gender, if this person says he is a boy, he is a boy. Thirdly, you put the word son in quotation marks which implies that he isn't really your friend's son.

    I'm glad that your friend is cutting negativity out of her life in order to protect her son. Too many trans people encounter ridicule, hatred, and violence. Your friend seems like a great parent and I hope that you learn how to be a better ally to her son.

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  • Tessa September 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM

    Hi all!
    I am a young 20 year old bisexual girl who is cathholic..I have had not even realised my sexuality until I realised I was in love with my best friend whom I had known for five years and she could not love me in the same way..if it was a choice to change my orientation I would have done in that moment..to "turn off" ones love and emotions..passion for someone..it was painful for me as a young teenager being in a church telling me that my desires,love and affections towards my best friend was wrong..that Jesus would not approve love between two people..passion and desire in marriage between two people who happen to be both male or female or non binary even..was hell for me.That if I fell in love with a woman now I would not be able to marry before the God that loves me and have his approval..who gave me these emotions and desires..love is not bad and God is love..and so my romantic love for my best friend was not bad...it hurt as any unrequited love would. To hate a part of who you are is to hate God as he created us perfect in his image..if I accept my bisexuality I accept Gods plan because he made me this way. I didnt learn this "behaviour" or even known what it was called..I felt it. When I called myself bisexual it felt right and good..I felt the holy spirit in me saying it is okay..true love makes you happy and harms none so how can love between two people be bad? Gender doesnt matter to me..our souls have no gender without a body as our souls and holy spirit are part of God and God is both man and woman..we are created in his image. Man and woman are created from his image. So he and she is both..and not seperate..we fall in love with the soul,become one in flesh and have God in our lives to have a happy healthy romantic relationship. God's plan is for us to be happy and find real true love in Him and in the world.

  • Dewayne Bryan September 27, 2018 at 7:09 PM

    I scrolled to the bottom after reading (true believer's) words. Personally, I plan to read the book and for a few years, have wrestled with how to best be a minister to many nobody else will give the time of day. This was a long while before my daughter, who lost her mom way too soon, told me about her life choice of a relationship with another woman. Was I a bit shocked? Yes I was. Do I love her no matter what? Yes I do. Have I embraced her with love of a father...myself...and her Heavenly Father? Yes I have. Many of the self proclaimed Christians I know are the ones emptying the pews in churches because of our judgmental ways and use of the bible as our weapon of choice to condemn others, usually while engaging in our own sin. Anyway, most of the back and forth here is very adult like and actually gives hope that true men and women after God's heart are capable of love for others; but, much of it is nothing more than the junk we can find on any social media feed. Thanks for the book. I look forward to reading it.

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